hey guys.. im still here at hampton about to go to a meeting..

I actually have a question to anyone who will answer:

Can you actually fully trust someone?

Like really, even though you have had you problems in the past. and that just what it is the past. but if you find people who you think are truely genuine.. but its something that just holds you back.. i was just wondering...

One of Hampton University's Finest is in the building. I am soooo ready to back to school.. i love jacksonville but im bored now and im ready to party at freshman orientation.. i miss all my buddiess from pre college.. those kids were soo off the change.. got to more days here soo i might as well enjoy them.. for everyone who has left i wish you the best in school and you will be in my prayers.. for everyone who stayed in jacksonville hold down the fort!!

Angel: You have so much going for yourself.. I know sometimes you might think things will not get better but your life is just beginning.. you WILL succeed in life.. remember whatever happens i still love ya ugly.. lol

Alisha: man if you didn't cuss me out half the times we talked i don't know where i'll be..lol.. you are a wonderful person.. sorry in took me senior year to realize that.. represent in orlando.. love ya..

This will be the last time i write on xanga. i guess you can say that i am retiring. there have been many things that i wanted to speak about so i guess this will be the best time to. there have been many things that i have experienced like many other people. some good and some bad.. and you can say that i am truly learning and growing from everything that has happened over the years. also there has been many lessons that i have learned. 1. NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND: no matter how kind or caring you are not everyone is going to like you. 2. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR: Man i can truly say some dudes did sweet talk me in these past couples of years and they kept it up until they got what they wanted and then bounce. also when dealing with certain people just cause they say they will keep a secret and not tell is telling you the opposite of they can't keep a secret and they will tell anyone whos willing to listen. 3. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR FACE VALUE: just cause something looks good doesn't menas its good for you. I had to learn that lesson at 3 times. 4.BE A LEADER NOT A FOLLOWER: my parents taught me to never follow anyone and be my own person. and i can truly say that i have not lived up to this lesson. in high school i did a lot of dumb things just because other people were doing it. it was cool at the time. knowing good and well half the time i really didn't want to go through half the things i did. 5. EVERYONE CANNOT BE TRUSTED: most of the time when someone is concerned and wants to know whats wrong with you in all actuality they just want to have information to go back tell someone. i guess to occupy their tim for they have nothing else to do. 6. EVERYONE CANNOT BE TRUSTED: I think this one of the top three lesson i have learned the most. since i am the person that i am. i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they would be green. boy did i have to learn that the hard way. once certain people knew that they had my trust and i would not expect any wrong doing from them, they took that and ran with it. 7. DON'T PUT ANYONE BEFORE MY GOD AND MY FAMILY:  when i tell you that this would have to be the worst thing that i have ever done. and i am so sorry to my family and the one above. for me to put people in front of the people who have been there for me since day one. the people who would go without so that me and my little brother didn't have to want for anything. the father who stayed in the navy for 25 years just so that his kids wouldn't have to suffer struggle like he did when he was younger. for a mother who made sure her kids tummies were full and had the materials they needed to get throught the day. the parents who waited to buy a new house or a new car, shoot even a new pair of shoes just so they can send there daughter to the 2nd ranked HBCU to graduate and succeed in life.  the people who will do ANY and EVERYTHING for me. i put people who care less about me in front of people who will love me regardless.  THAT WAS THE WORST MISTAKE EVER!!!! Now i cannot sit here and blame no one but myself. because i was so worried about other people and their feelings i never looked out for myself. i never did anything for me,  my life was revovling around other people and not myself. i was not living or leading the life that i wanted to. but today is a new day. the only person that i am looking out is myself. i take care of me before i even bother with dealing with anyone else. i have plans and goals. and the people i was surrounding myself with were either doing nothing with there life or were not focused like i was. they were bringing negative stress which i really couldn't afford to have. and once i figured that out and learned to deal with not having friends i was starting to be more happier with life. now many people might consider me to be a weak person. i am far from that. to be honest i know i will be one strong individual. no one will be able to walk over me and think anything will fly with me. i am ready to prove to myself not anyone else that i can get through anything. just take the good with the bad learn and move on. i'm not there yet but i will with time. i guess this is the end.. for everyone from paxon class of 2005, i wish each and everyone of you good luck and i hope you accomplish everything you set your mind to. you guys will be in my heart and prayers. always Shanika Nikkita Fahie

whats up ya'll... nothing much here just got home from the mall... i went job hunting today.. i had a interview with sears.. but i don't think i will get the job... so i was just walking up the mall and like every place is hiring but the catch is that you have to 18.. and that is killing me right now.. the manager for Lerner's was going to give me an interview if i was only 18.. and that made me soo mad... but thats okay the day i turn 18 bet i won't be at all of those places.. they are going to get tired of me... but that is how my day went and i am tired so i'm going to sleep... Layta

I was in my room watching the ring and i got bored of it so i decided to get on write and little something something... my weekend was boring as i don't know what... yesterday keisha and i went to Red Lobster and i got the endless shrimp and i was going to town on it... lol... it was so good... while i was there i saw kendra mitchell.. she  was with her boyfriend.. they looked really cute.. 

i started on my senior book finally... i'm not trying to put alot in it because we still have a couple more months and i know alot of things are bound to happen so i don't want to fill it up quite yet... i still have to take more pictures and oprganize everything and thats alot of time and energy which i really don't have right now..

I REALLY NEED A JOB... i am so tired of being broke ya'll... it is not fun at all... if anyone has any suggections please let me know... i start job hunting on weds. since we have a early dismissal...

i really want to know if i been accpted into howard... its killing me inside because i really need to know... thats has been dream school since i can't even remember ya'll.. i will know in december.. so pray for me ya'll...

ummm... there is one thing that i want to speak on.. angel i know that you are going through alot of things right now.. and i know that you are trying to hold on and hopefully IT will come around... but also keep this in mind is it really worth the stress... just THINK about it... whatever you decided you know that i am here for you mama!!!